Just had a quick glance at yesterday’s post and realised how long it was, ooops.
Last three days have been really beneficial.
Well I have been doing ergo and bike work and really happy with were I am at physically, but then it struck me, like a flash, a question come rapidly in to focus.
Where my head at?
Yesterday I spoke about errors and when doing so I had loads of images in my mind. A comment made in response to the post mentioned the 2006 World Championships I what was funny was some of the images of our errors certain related to what could be seen so clearly in the footage. In fact now as I consider the question that has come into my mind I found myself trying to find away to get a handle on the thought process I shared yesterday. So many of my reflection are attempts to make sense of the experiences we are going through, but how many of them are real, or current, or some form of mixed together thoughts, feels, memory’s and concepts that in part can be accurate and some times inaccurate?
Why I found this in my mind was because the errors are not just recent one on the camp but also as I mentioned they have occurred and re-occurred over an extend period. This is the twist though I have also had people make mention of their perceptions of us and I have watch many races included our own performances.
The question, ‘where my head at?’ relates not only to the head space I was in when writing yesterday’s post, but it relates also to the time of being in the boat when the various movements occur or don’t occur. It also relates to the training over last few days as there are times when my focus and attention is squarely in the moment, but there are times when I am living in the past and projecting into the future.
Bare with me here…
To us an example of the rowing and my assumptions, misconceptions, fear, joys and sense of what it is to train, row, perform and practice on the ergo.
Often I find that I procrastinate when it comes to doing big session on the machine. It can be daunting when I know how much fatigue, pain, duration, effort, buzz and concentration that will occur during a big session. In the past when I have felt this way I have often broken the session up to make it easier. That is why I have done 10min workloads and power strokes because it seems more realistic and achievable.
What am I scared of?
When I am in the groove it feels easy, but often prior to those moments I have a sense of dread out what it will take to get in the groove. There is a certain amount of discomfort and effort that is required before everything starts to fall into place. Some times it does occur and the effort and fatigue stay with me all the way through.
The funny thing with all this is that the question of where my head is at make a big difference to how it feels before, during and after and session. Fear builds in my mind when the collective negatives about the past and future experiences and possibilities grow like an avalanche cascading down a mountain. It can paralise, stiffen, restrict and manipulate the mind which is required to lead the body.
Right now my head space is full of stuff and not all of it is helpful. Training and performing optimally requires clarity and focus and this is the challenge for all of us when we put our selves on the line to be tested and compared in any way.
So sometimes I just don’t know where my head is at, but it is something that I strive to continually improve and develop.
Again I may have gone on a bit here but in final I leave this: