Well well well, you would believe it but I have a chest infection now. Funny things is I have still been able to do some training, but what does it tell me about the way I have been going until now. I launched back in to training to ensure that when work ramped up I could ease back on training and enable the early preparation to carry me through to Christmas. The sign’s were there but I felt I had to get some money in the bank. Once wrok really took off I found my self feeling really great but was noticing some little changes in energy levels. Then after I felt I got to the point where I couldn’t do any more and I had a week of full day workshops and evening events it all came home to roost. The seeds had been sown and after three days off training not only did I feel like I had not really recovered as I would have preferred, but add the Head of the Yarra and well when the weekend ended I was a wash with flu symptoms and my sinus’s were completely blocked.
These are the thoughts I have been having:
What influenced me to keep pushing through?
What were the health signals that began to show up?
What was my mind set around push on or hold back?
Is this period of chaos needed for me to learn something new?
What am I learning?
What has been confirmed in my mind?
The up side of what I have written above is that even with the ill health I still feel I have made some steps that I needed to take. The questions that I have highlighted here are part of the many that I captured along the path during the last three weeks.
When things become unbalanced eventually something has to give. On this occasion that something has been my health, but along with it I have let go of a fear that I feel was limiting. The fear of complaicincy…
Even when I have felt exhusted I still felt hungary, motivated and keen to explore. While on the bike during the week my breathing was tight but I never went into survival mode. I was able to stay aware of my health and the restriction but remaining calm and composed during a challenging session on the bike really gave me joy. Certain indicators pointed to needing to slow down and back off but I felt compleled to sit with it a little longer.
This is what hit me…We have heard much about Beijing and the weather and pollution. I didn’t see it before but it dawned on me that all of a sudden I was testing myself under health condition that could arise for the conditions over there. What I found is that my resolve and composure stayed with me and I was able to perform to a level that surprised me. Now this is bizarre but in the past my weakness has been to often develop respritory problems and sinus issues is weather condition that magnify the problems. Deep down I have concerns about Beijing, but after this last three weeks of pushing myself into the red zone and performing with some of the similar condition has changed my mind set. Dissolving a fear this way is not always the solution but for what ever reason on this occasion I followed my instincts and this is where they lead me.
The other news I have is that last week we received notice that Rowing Australia has pre-selected us for the games. So I am now on the Gold Coast having a mini camp with Duncan and Chris. Nothing will really change in our preparation but it is great to know we are now set. With it comes a certain responsibility to perform which I appreciate and take seriously.