Well when it came to being able to handle an ever increasing load of training I eventually found myself on Saturday afternoon completely smashed. The cracks had formed, the shakiness was upon me, the most obvious and inevitable conclusion came home to roost as I sat slumped on the couch at home. Finally I felt I could do no more and it marked the end of a 6 week build in volume that at times I thought would potentially be limitless, but no I am human like everyone else. With a sure sense of approaching sickness in my body after pushing myself particularly hard over the final week I raised the white flag in our living room and acknowledged that at this stage of proceedings I had reached my physical, mental and emotional capacity.
The aim over the last 6 weeks was to challenge capacity, to travel an untraveled road, to seek and explore zones never before known. Well I make it all sound so romantic and glorious, but there is a large element of the grand it what I enjoyed embarking upon over the period. The test was to see how far I could go before I would collapse, slump and realise I had nothing more to give.
Why do this now? Well why not, it felt like a great idea to test myself in this way now. Certainly at times I thought, the games are not until August next year I don’t have to do this. Every time I thought this I challenged myself to go deeper into that thought and see what else there is behind it.
Complacency, laziness and fear peered back at me from behind the vail of settling. Hence I decided to explore, push and challenge many of my thoughts and ideas on performance. Not while sitting around reflecting or postulating, but rather I wanted to get myself into the states and zones that I sensed would bring about the greatest capacity to learn.
Keys areas of interest:
-Performance knowledge & understanding
-Intention into action
This makes it seem formal but they are the areas that I had considered prior and still hang in the air with an alluring presence for me.
Now the back drop I have used to test my learning has been simple training activities.
2. Bike Riding
3. Gym Work
4. Rowing Machine
Largely I have operated intuitively and very much gone with the flow. One premise I held constant was to not except my first thought or feeling to be absolute, but rather as a starting point and guide. If how ever I came back to my first initial thought or feeling then I was happy to accept it. Not so much as fact but rather as a reasonably well tested one.
At first glance there are a few things that have changed in my mind. I will elaborate on these in part 2. What I will say now is that what I realised is the last 6 weeks was like riding an energetic wave which only washed out on Saturday. The capacity and intensity was amazing and by simply search and having the motivation to explore the areas I would term the grey zone, I not only felt inspiration, aspiration but a true sense of energy flow.
For now I will this here, but I plan to share some of the experiences in more detail and in particular a few key realisations that at least for now seem to hold water.